It's a cold and rainy Sunday and as I sit down to write I contemplate over what topic I want to brush over today...I begin to think about new beginnings...the amount of flexibility and sense of novelty and excitement we feel in starting something new, trekking down a path for the first time. And so I decide that although I am in the same town, same house, same job, and doing the same activities....I will make this a new beginning.
I will start this chapter over. This chapter of reinventing myself, expanding my talents, restructuring my time, refurbishing old relationships and building new ones. I have set down this path before, but ran off course due to several changes in my life...its the whole two steps forward one step back deal...and I refuse to beat myself up about it, it's part of life, it's part of growing up in your twenties. And so I refocus my route, now more knowledgeable than when I originally set out on this journey, and prepared to set the stage for a new beginning.
I realize that there doesn't have to be a new location, a new job, or anything particularly monumental to have a new beginning...just a new mentality.
And so I am adopting a new mentality about everything in my life. How I deal with my jobs, how I deal with my family, how I deal with my friends, and how I deal with myself. I want to wake up every morning with excitement and fervor to embrace the day, spend time with someone dear to me or someone new, jump back into yoga, dance, and running but with the mentality that I will push myself to a new level, rather than simply carry forward in the same grace and stature I have done in the past. Educate myself on the world around me, spend my free time reading and writing, while also pursuing more artistic endeavors. I have registered for guitar classes...finally!
So this sense of novelty and change comes from within, rather than from around. We get this feeling that we need to get out, move away, etc. When the truth is that wherever we go our same pains and frustrations will follow...until we decide to discard them and adopt a new way of living. I am a person who needs structure in my life, and I am realizing how much this lack of structure has caused my mind to get foggy and my soul to drupe, and so I must reestablish structure on my own, push forward, and raise the bar of daily satisfaction.
Just food for thought....
Opening...Welcome!
Catch 22-Discovering Life in your 20's is a memoir centered on the tumultuos discovery of life and one's self in their twenties. Who am I? What makes me happy? What makes me sad? What makes me spark? What drives me? What career path do I choose? How do I find my soul-mate? Does a soul-mate even exist? What are the qualities I am searching for in that person? I have found that person...are they right for me? How do I find comfort in my own skin? Am I making the right decisions? Am I being safe with sex and drugs? At what point do my bad habits need to end? How do I budget my money and myself? How do I establish balance in my life? Questions out-weigh the answers, answers that we must continue through this tunnel of experience to understand.
Life is becoming more real every minute, adulthood sinks in, and some of the darkest AND most beautiful aspects of life begin to show face. Some of you will experience heartbreak for the first time, some will experience death, some will enter the work force to discover that the gossip and social politics we dealt with in high school are never-ending.
As we linger on the cusp of this critical moment in time, two steps forward often follow by one step back, frustration and pain interchange with excitement and novelty, and a new sense of discovery is born.
"I've got it!" "I know who I am!" "I know what I want!" These are the statements we proclaim with vigilance...and then there's a CATCH.
Something happens, someone lets us down, life changes unexpectedly and we feel back at square one.
This is the Catch 22--this is the battle of life in our twenties.
Life is becoming more real every minute, adulthood sinks in, and some of the darkest AND most beautiful aspects of life begin to show face. Some of you will experience heartbreak for the first time, some will experience death, some will enter the work force to discover that the gossip and social politics we dealt with in high school are never-ending.
As we linger on the cusp of this critical moment in time, two steps forward often follow by one step back, frustration and pain interchange with excitement and novelty, and a new sense of discovery is born.
"I've got it!" "I know who I am!" "I know what I want!" These are the statements we proclaim with vigilance...and then there's a CATCH.
Something happens, someone lets us down, life changes unexpectedly and we feel back at square one.
This is the Catch 22--this is the battle of life in our twenties.
No comments:
Post a Comment