So I flew into SFO from NYC yesterday....I've been in New York for 9 months and boy has my life gone a complete 180 in that time frame. I moved to NYC for a job and a boy followed....a lost little boy...when he got there he didn't know what to do with himself...and me not wanting to be his mother could not support his inability to motivate himself to get a job. The strain of being in an unknown city together, no friends, no job for him, me trying to jump start a company alone, and an unhealthy dependency made the relationship crumble.
And now I have returned to the place we first met, fell in love, and gave each other a part of ourselves without realizing the risks. That is the beauty of young love, something that comes so naturally to me, as my soul continually longs to connect to others. When I find someone who feeds that connect, everything goes out the window. We blow caution to the wind, and set out on the road of uncertainty together. The honeymoon period is amazing, and was by far the most intense with this individual. We proclaimed we had found one another, would marry each other one day, and have two children....Mika and Michaela. Then reality settles in, life slams us against the wall, and having only established our bond through this unrequited love, the relationship cannot hold itself up against the realities of the world around us.
Well I am now 25 and have decided I cannot continue my relationships in this fashion. I have removed myself from all dating for the past 3 months...which believe me...is an accomplishment, as I have almost always had a guy in the picture since I was 16. Well no more. Now its me time. Like serious me time. I have said this for the past few years as you can see, but have finally really put my efforts in other directions.
The biggest thing.....I don't feel a VOID anymore! You know why? Because I have a career. It is the most fulfilling thing you can ask for. While it is a struggle at times, since I am starting a new business in NYC on my own and my boss and I butt heads at times, I am continually inspired in my job, and I love what I do. That I would say should be your FIRST AND FOREMOST goal in your 20's. Find a meaningful career. When you find that, everything else will follow. :-)
Beyond the career you pour your blood, sweat, and tears into....there is not much else you can really control...lead your life with the understanding that only your actions are in your hands, and you won't feel so defeated. I mean you will still feel defeated at times, but those times will become less and less. Because you own reality, and are true to yourself about how the world works and other people. This is why it is so important to really be stable in a relationship with yourself, and strong and sufficient there, before you meet anyone else. Which is exactly what I have been trying to build...
Opening...Welcome!
Catch 22-Discovering Life in your 20's is a memoir centered on the tumultuos discovery of life and one's self in their twenties. Who am I? What makes me happy? What makes me sad? What makes me spark? What drives me? What career path do I choose? How do I find my soul-mate? Does a soul-mate even exist? What are the qualities I am searching for in that person? I have found that person...are they right for me? How do I find comfort in my own skin? Am I making the right decisions? Am I being safe with sex and drugs? At what point do my bad habits need to end? How do I budget my money and myself? How do I establish balance in my life? Questions out-weigh the answers, answers that we must continue through this tunnel of experience to understand.
Life is becoming more real every minute, adulthood sinks in, and some of the darkest AND most beautiful aspects of life begin to show face. Some of you will experience heartbreak for the first time, some will experience death, some will enter the work force to discover that the gossip and social politics we dealt with in high school are never-ending.
As we linger on the cusp of this critical moment in time, two steps forward often follow by one step back, frustration and pain interchange with excitement and novelty, and a new sense of discovery is born.
"I've got it!" "I know who I am!" "I know what I want!" These are the statements we proclaim with vigilance...and then there's a CATCH.
Something happens, someone lets us down, life changes unexpectedly and we feel back at square one.
This is the Catch 22--this is the battle of life in our twenties.
Life is becoming more real every minute, adulthood sinks in, and some of the darkest AND most beautiful aspects of life begin to show face. Some of you will experience heartbreak for the first time, some will experience death, some will enter the work force to discover that the gossip and social politics we dealt with in high school are never-ending.
As we linger on the cusp of this critical moment in time, two steps forward often follow by one step back, frustration and pain interchange with excitement and novelty, and a new sense of discovery is born.
"I've got it!" "I know who I am!" "I know what I want!" These are the statements we proclaim with vigilance...and then there's a CATCH.
Something happens, someone lets us down, life changes unexpectedly and we feel back at square one.
This is the Catch 22--this is the battle of life in our twenties.
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